Young man, are you listening to me? I said
Young man, what do you want to be? I said
Young man, you can make real your dreams
But you’ve got to know this one thing
No man does it all by himself, I said
Young man, put your pride on the shelf
- Lyrics from Y.M.C.A., by the Village People
Believe it or not, YMCA was released way back in 1978.
Back in the day, it became an instant hit, rising to #2 on the BIllboard charts. In the decades since, it’s sold more than 12 million copies worldwide, and in 2020 it was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame. More recently that this, it’s been selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Recording Registry for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant,” while only a few months ago, Donald Trump was using it at his presidential rallies.
However, in at the same time as this anthem has persisted, ‘young men’ have fallen from favor.
Today, they are:
- Half as likely as women to get a college degree
- Three times more likely to die from an opioid overdose
- Four times more likely to commit suicide
- 12 times more likely to be incarcerated
- Comprise 93% of all mass shooters
What has happened?
In many ways they have been all but abandoned.
As an example one of our major political parties claims to serve many demographic groups: 16 in all.
But glaringly missing from the list is men.
Given the other groups listed here, omitting men from the list was clearly a deliberate decision, not an oversight (That may well be why this particular demographic returned the favor in kind in the recent election).
A big part of the problem is that we have a culture that denigrates men by perpetuating myths like toxic masculinity and that women are paid 70% of what men earn for the same work.
The latter has been thoroughly debunked by multiple studies, but the myth lives on, powered by the quest, or obsession, for complete equality.
But what is toxic about masculinity?
Being masculine is defined in terms of qualities like muscled, driven, leadership, strength and courage. Are these not desirable qualities in anyone?
There are plenty of women that have them.
But implicitly, if not explicitly, the message is that showing empathy for men is indicative of sexism or not being supportive of women.
There are other issues too.
Men are poorly served by the education system.
By high school, two-thirds of students in the top 10% of the class are girls, while about two-thirds of the students in the bottom decile are boys.
That significantly narrows the path forward into a well-paying career which in America is typically found through a college degree.
Fewer men are accepted into colleges and they drop out in larger proportions than women.
The emphasis on four-year college degrees as the primary path to career success has led to reduced funding and support for trades programs.
Many schools have shifted their focus toward college readiness programs and standardized testing, often at the expense of vocational and technical education.
Funding cuts in education budgets have disproportionately affected vocational programs, which often require expensive equipment, tools, and specialized instructors.
Schools with limited budgets prioritize core academic subjects, leaving shop classes and similar programs vulnerable to elimination.
These are programs that were on-ramps into careers that are better suited to men, such as trades and mechanical work.
Men really are from Mars
Men and women are not the same.
Research on gender and job aptitude suggests that men and women, on average, excel in different types of tasks or roles which are due to biological differences, though upbringing and societal influences do play a part.
Women tend to score higher on measures of emotional intelligence, making them well-suited for roles requiring empathy, communication, and interpersonal skills (e.g., healthcare, education, human resources).
Women also excel in multitasking and collaborative environments, which can be advantageous in project management or team-based roles.
Women are often found to excel in jobs requiring strong verbal skills and the ability to build and maintain relationships, such as sales, customer service, and counseling.
Men – by contrast – tend to perform better (on average), in spatial reasoning tasks, which can be beneficial in fields like engineering, architecture, and certain technical jobs.
They exhibit higher risk-taking tendencies, often aligning with leadership, entrepreneurship, and decision-making roles.
Men and women are attracted to different jobs
Studies show that men and women often gravitate toward different fields due to interests shaped by socialization.
Women tend to prefer roles with a social or altruistic component (such as teaching, healthcare, social work).
Men often prefer technical, mechanical, or system-based jobs (such as engineering, computer science).
Biological Influences also are a factor. Hormonal differences, such as testosterone levels, may influence tendencies toward assertiveness and competitiveness, which are often associated with leadership and high-stakes roles.
Estrogen has been linked to empathy and nurturing behaviors, aligning with caregiving professions.
It’s why no bar hires women to be bouncers, though plenty of women would likely qualify, because when a fight breaks out, traits that are considered stereotypically feminine, such as sensitivity, gentleness, tenderness and empathy are not likely to be of much use in breaking it up.
Complaints about masculinity appear to be made chiefly because they fit a narrative that’s considered fashionable by some, not because they serve any practical purpose.
They’re conveniently forgotten when there’s a need for masculine behavior.
The 343 firefighters killed at the World Trade Center on 9/11 were all men who died in the cause of saving others.
No one accused them of demonstrating toxic masculinity.
The minority
A minority is a culturally, ethnically, or racially distinct group that coexists with but is subordinate to a more dominant group.
As the term is used in the social sciences, this subordinacy is the chief defining characteristic of a minority group.
For much of human history men have been the dominant group, but they are now a minority in every sense of the word.
As such, minority status does not necessarily correlate to population, though in America men make up 49.6%.
The consequences of alienation are that men are leaving the labor force in increasing numbers.
When YMCA was released in 1978, the labor force participation rate for men was 80%.
It has now dropped to 68%.
That means more than 7 million men of prime working age are no longer employed or looking for work.
About half are collecting disability benefits, but that still leaves 3.5 million not being gainfully employed.
Subordinating support for men to the cause of women hurts everyone.
With more women achieving higher education and advancing in their careers, they often seek partners with comparable economic stability.
However, the decline in male college enrollment and the rise in underemployment among men have reduced the number of economically viable male partners.
There are some hopeful trends though.
Since 2021, the share of prime-age men in the workforce has increased by two percent.
Increased availability of treatments for opioid addiction may also help – although half of all unemployed men are addicted to pain medication.
But we have a long way to go.
Advancing the cause of women does not have to come at the expense of men.
If that has to happen then shouldn’t we – in the interests of equality – be promoting efforts to help men have longer lives, since women on average live six years more than men?
That may seem like trivializing a serious societal problem, but if we continue to treat this situation like a zero-sum game then it’s a very reasonable question to ask.