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HR needs to redefine success – one lie at a time

CEO Chantell Preston says women have been sold too many workplace lies, and it's time organizations (ie HR) to reframe them into more attainable truths:

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Nov 20, 2024

It was recently reported that the number of women in the labor force is now back to its pre-pandemic levels, with around 75 million women in the workforce today.

This is fantastic news – and not just for women.

Research has shown that employees who work for companies with more women report higher rates of satisfaction and are more dedicated to their organization.

Today there’s no question that women’s value in corporate workplaces, even in leadership positions, is beneficial to personal growth, the economy, and organizational productivity.

But – and here’s the kicker – why do we continue to lie to women about what it means to be successful?

As an entrepreneur and CEO, I was sold lies that led to stress, disappointment, and a false perception of failure.

For women to continue making gains in corporate America, we all – CHROs included – need to redefine what success means.

And this involves breaking down and reframing these lies into attainable truths.

Lie #1: “You can have it all”

We’ve been sold the notion that we can have it all: career, relationship, family, and personal life.

In fact it’s more than this. There’s a narrative that says not only can (and should) we have it all, but it has to be perfect, which translates to: you can’t fail.

But here’s the truth: you can have it all – but not all at once.

 Relieving yourself of this lie starts with letting go with the quest for perfection.

A 2022 study by PsychTest found that nearly 50% of women believe that failing a project or task makes them a failure as a person and that over 63% of women frequently worry about making mistakes.

What organizations should really be doing is talking about those missteps as learning opportunities. For one can never fail if that person actaully learns from an experience.

Having it all also means a new emphasis needs to be placed on setting aside a quest for balance and working towards a goal of integration.

Organizations must be better at helping staff integrate their work and personal lives, so that each one receives what it needs when it’s needed. As a CEO myself, I know that one day, people’s kids may get 80% of someone, and work only gets 20%. The next day, it shifts, with work getting 75% of you and kids getting 25%. That’s okay. That’s real, attainable balance.

Lie #2: “The answer is always yes”

Women have been socially conditioned to always say: “yes,” even at the expense of their own mental health.

After all, how will we get ahead if we dare utter the word “no?”

 Would you like me to stay late at the office so I can be part of a new project? Absolutely. After all, we’re team players, and the only way to show that is through a passionate “yes!”

But here is where we all need to start practicing a crucial social and career shift.

If employees aren’t allowed to start saying no, then they inevitably lose themselves.

Saying no isn’t a weakness.

It’s a sign of people showing strength and empowerment. It’s a sign that people recognize their worth.

There’s so much more power saying “no” than we’ve ever been told, and it’s time businesses supported people to start uttering it.

Lie #3: “You can’t show emotions in business”

Women are often told not to show emotion in the workplace because it gives the perception of weakness or aggression.

Women have also been told that we have to be authoritarian leaders; otherwise, we won’t be respected by our teams.

But that’s different from what employees want out of leadership.

A recent survey of 900 US employees found empathy is an important driver of successful outcomes, including innovation, engagement, and inclusion.

Empathy-driven leadership improves employee retention rates and increases satisfaction rates.

The reality is that employees want to know that they have an empathetic leader who is going to understand that they have lives outside of work.

And research backs this up too, with data showing that emotional intelligence accounts for more than 60% of people’s personal and professional achievements.

Furthermore, employees with empathetic leaders report higher engagement and creativity levels, improving performance.

Showing vulnerability and empathy doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as being an effective listener and communicator, showing compassion and understanding, offering support, and expressing gratitude.

Leaning into empathy and transparency is a strength in leadership – not a weakness.